Friday, February 18, 2011

What do you say to these things?

Right. So I'm single. (Mainly because I'm too damn busy to date.) I've been with a few women, and had a couple of 'serious' relationships.

Contrary to my own inflated sense of self-worth, I am not qualified to give relationship advice. To anyone.

Why do my students think I'm the one to come to with their relationship problems? I get that I'm an adult, and thus know more about EVERYTHING than a group of teens, but GODDAMN is this annoying.

I grew out of my weepy emo phase TEN YEARS AGO. I don't like weepy poetry, and I'm sure as hell not going to play matchmaker. You may be asking, "Why not? It's harmless fun, right?" THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU. You think teen pregnancy is bad now? How bad do you think it will be if the teachers start HELPING the ungrateful little bastards?

Don't get me wrong. I like the youth. I just don't trust them with anything. It saves time and heartache on my end. Sure, I've met some decent teens who I'd go out on a limb for, but most of them have THEIR HEAD SO FAR UP THEIR ASS THAT THEIR BODY'S A HAT. These are the same brain-dead bastards who bitch out their parents when the Internet's down.

So what do I do? I listen. I try to be supportive. I point them THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Why? Because I don't want their damn kids to be named after me. They're going to bone anyway, I just don't want it on my conscience.

Have a Good One.

1 comment:

  1. Teens are crazy, you could try really hard to set them straight and they would do the opposite, or just shrug at them and they would get the idea. You could just say, "Hum, is that what you think?" until they leave you alone.